Doff your cap to the macabre.

I'm really, really, really cold. What is going on with the world? Seriously now; you can't expect people to go outside wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and carrying a jumper, and jeans with them just in case the weather gets bored and decides to change its mind. Honestly, it's like bi-polar weather topography - "I'm feeling blue, let us decide to be horrendously overcast, ya know the kind, where whatever you wear is immediately plastered to you with sweat even though it's not that warm because it's windy?", "Naw, fuck it. Bright sunshine", "No! Cold and wet!" I know. How about every kind of weather that is available, apart from the interesting ones. Ladies and gentlemen, doff your cap to the macabre - it's schaudenfraude, it's sardonic heavenly manipulation; and it's really fucking annoying.

I was complaining about the temperature yesterday (it was both freezing cold and too warm); and some genius retorted: "Aren't you inside?" Apparently my house is imbued with magic powers which allow it to heat and cool according to the daily forecast. Anyone want to board in my magic house? £2 a night. No food.

I underslept this morning. That's right. Underslept. I woke up way too early, and had to get up anyway. I then proceeded to fall asleep again and was late for work. Super. It was that horrible, ghastly feeling, when you wake up and you know immediately that you're late for wherever you're going. I woke up and said "Fuck". I didn't even check my watch. I knew. Damnit I hate that feeling. The one time it happens and you realise you are in fact not late, that's a great feeling. The other 2,000 times? That sucks. That really sucks balls.

I met a man from Subway today. He is training new staff. Isn't that exciting!? Come on, everybody get down - we're all gonna party Subway style. You want a big head with that? No? Have it your way. Fuckers.

I have nothing else to say.

Go away.