You may remember that a few months ago I bemoaned this country's sensationally shocking reactions to when it snows. Well, it happened again, and this time we actually got a fair amount of the unique, flaky-fuckers. If you recall, the last time we had smattering of opalescent bastards the entire country suddenly exploded and three-hundred-thousand-million people were killed in the aftershock of over-reactionary, sensationalist, knee-jerk-reactionary pointlessness. I remember having to prescribe two-hundred-thousand doses of opioid just to stem the tide of drooling-faggotry. And I'm not a doctor. Poor buggers who actually had to do what I just pretended to have done. I can't even begin to imagine what the hospitals are looking like right now: three doctors and four-gazillion patients (ha, gazillion is a word in my dictionary on Chrome apparently) all sitting there rocking back and forth, bleating about how they've got pneumonia, and septicaemia, and cholera, and plague, and a billion other things that no one catches unless they're limbs outnumber their brain-cells. There will have been at least forty road-traffic-accidents per second since the first snowflake fell 20 hours ago. Why people think that even attempting to drive in these conditions is beyond me. I guess it's either mindless optimism, or debilitating stupidity. Or a mixture of the two.
Let me explain. It cannot be one by itself because the former is a product of the latter. You're optimistic if you're an idiot. This country never has enough grit, let alone enough vehicles to spread the salty-shitters all around: like Mardi-Gras for ice melting. There's no point in even attempting to complete a journey because the person in front of you will have been schooled in the art of driving by a hybrid production of Stevie Wonder and Steven Hawkins. Shuffling and singing are the two talents on show in people-carrier up in front. And woe betide anyone who actually makes it -- there is literally no point in doing that. The office/school/building/job-place/country will be closed until further notice. My university has already closed for the day tomorrow. That's a reasonable and justified reaction given the fact I walked 2-miles to the fucking place this morning when the snow was worse and I made it in one-piece and I wasn't injured, and I didn't get trench foot and no one was killed by my going outside, and I didn't have to be hospitalised. Shockingly though I received no notification that my lecture had been cancelled. Oh, no. That would have been way too sensible for a university. I got an email at 8.40. Which is useful given the fact that 80% of second-year, and above, students live further than a mile from university. I myself had left at 8.15. So the email was a little bit of a pointless gesture, really. The printed sign on the door was fabulous, though; that really capped off the day nicely.
Here's the fucking solution: it's called proportional-reaction. That's a fucking trademark, too. When something happens, you react in a reasonable, reasoned, and proportional sense. It's not a difficult concept: even the Christian people have got it nailed, for Christ's sake ("An eye for an eye"). That's not a challenging one, presumably? When you realise that it's going to snow - and don't complain to me that we didn't know or anything, because we really fucking did - then you get the people on emergency-call to come in early. You get in the staff who are on-call for exactly these types of situations. We all knew it was going to snow seemingly 20 hours before anyone who runs this country did. We had warnings. We had ample time to prepare the roads, get people home from work, or to work, or whatever it is that we'd need to do to keep this country running at a level of at least half-productivity.
Alas, no. The entire world has stopped. Even my uni library closed today. Oh, and just because it's snowing; that doesn't give you an excuse to say "due to inclement weather". That's like something I would say. On a bad day.
Fucking inclement stupidity.
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