Dénouement.

Well, we've arrived finally -- at the end of my harrowing journey through incapacitation; held at the teat and ministrations of my dearly beloved chemical solutions. I struggled through - never fear - I made it to work, and I did excellently, as expected. I didn't spend all my time ensconced in some hidey-hole, ruing the day infirmity laid me waste; neigh, dear friends, it will be a sad day for humanity when man-flu causes me to eschew my responsibilities: I had change to calculate, books to alphabetise, cataloguing on the internet! I was up to my neck in these difficulties, but I muddled through - and I arrive on the other side a glorious stallion of a man; like goblin-wrought steel I imbibe that which seeks to destroy me, before using it to destroy itself. I take your evil, Nature, and I absorb it, and then I laugh uproariously in your face! Ha-ha-ha! See! See!?

Nah, I'm still feeling a little shaky; all things considered, but now is not the time for folding under the crushing belligerence of debilitation! Never fear; all things considered I am coping rather admirably. In all honesty I have moaned quite a lot, and I have just kind of... sat around for like 4 days on the trot, but that's what happens when you're ill, isn't it? There's some rhyme like "Starve out a fever, eat out a cold" (which makes me giggle), and by jove I ate my cold out. I was positively feasting on my cold, shoving my mouth into the deepest recesses I could find; choking on the moistness I found up my nose. Yes, I performed cunnilingus on an ailment. Go me. That's like... metaphysical doctoring there: when they recommend leaches, I recommend some kind of weird oral-sex manoeuvre (I have never been able to spell this word right the first time - ever) and you will find yourself fixed! All better, you shall! Just as a sidenote: I don't recommend this to anyone under the age of 18, because you're too young to be trusted with transcending space, time, and reality! Leave the weird metareal traversing to us agéd (I felt it looked nicer) pros.

Just because I feel guilty for not having uploaded anything of even semi-merit (unless you're feeling particularly obsequious [and if you are, please feel free to fawn]) I will just talk very briefly about pointless grammar rules -- and why just because something is pointless, it doesn't mean we should ignore it. When I refer to 'pointless' grammar rules, I refer to things like tautology, hanging of prepositional(s), comma splicing, etc.. Stuff that has no real place in anything outside of formal academia. It's all well and good to know these things, study them, love them -- great -- but it's another thing to enforce them religiously, when, as I mention, they simply have no place in modern-day writing. It's merely elitist spooning of language, and I don't approve! No, Sir, I do not approve at all! Anyway, now that I've set the scene as well as I could (I don't think I'll be penning a masterpiece this afternoon) I will discuss why I brought this up.

Someone I know seems to think that just because we don't police the language highways, that anything professional they create simply doesn't have to bear relevance to any semblance of English. You can't just throw punctuation out of the window: you cannot make a presentation that simply does away with periods and colons: it makes absolutely no grammatical sense, and would get you laughed at. You don't have to get everything right -- because everyone gets stuff wrong, all the time -- but you have to at least look as though you're writing in English.

Also, bespoking is not a verb.