Oh, and make a note of the word "gobbledegook": I like it, I want to use it more often in conversation.
Kthx.
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So I'm obscenely hungover, so I'm going to go get some food, then bash out some thoughts. Wanna talk about Children in Need, student finance, and... bacon or something. Nom nom.
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So I de-monetised my blog for superficial, aesthetic reasons: it was pig-fucking-ugly, and, whilst I was at it, I decided to change the skin as well! I think this new one adds a slightly more interesting dimension to what was a fairly bland layout. Perish the thought that I am merely adding superfluous touches in order to bolster a one-dimensional writing style; that would never be the case, and I am insulted that you (I) would even think that. I would be gravely insulted had you even alluded to a colour change exemplifying an apparent lack of interest in the subject. Never! Never I tell you!
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Not sure what's going on with these little lines. Don't really like them, though, to be honest; they just annoy me when I can't get them all to match up. Anyway. Children in Need. For the uninitiated, it is a National (UK) charity event that aims to raise money for projects which help children. The remit includes things like kids clubs on council estates, music facilities for criminal rehabilitation of young offenders, carers for children coping with familial illness, grief counselling, building projects, getting kids off the street, etc., I think you get the picture! Every year one of our national TV networks - the BBC (you might have heard of them) - puts on basically a big charity 'bash' in order to suck as much money from the public as possible. There's music, sketches, auctions, shows, and lots of other things, but obviously I won't go too far into it lest I become a mere tool of propaganda. Suffice it to say, it normally raises a hell of a lot of money and is for a great cause; and, as far as I am aware, there are no administrative costs -- so all of the money raised goes straight to the projects.
I've only got a few things to say about it really, because I think it's such a tremendous idea and I think that anyone who doesn't donate needs to take a long, hard look at themselves and ask "why?" Anyway, every year, we watch all seven hours of it, get fabulously drunk, and donate more money than we have. That's totally the point! It's great fun, and you are helping people out, a fantastic combination by anyone's standards. Unfortunately, in a country with around 40 million taxpayers or something, we only seem to raise 20 - 40 million; which in and of itself is fantastic, but in the scheme of things and in relative terms, really isn't that impressive. I just think that's sad, recession or not.
The other thing I wanted to say is: damn you to hell, Children in Need! It's so unbelievably, heart-wrenchingly sad. It's insane just how depressing some of it gets. By far and a way the most depressing thing I've seen this year, and so poignant. One of the appeals was for two girls whose dad had cancer; they were helped to understand the disease, and aided in the transitory stages of his illness. The whole film was criminally harrowing, and then just at the end there was the tag "blah blah's dad died in August 2009". I defy anyone to not be moved by that, and I think it's a disgrace that people would refuse to dig into their troves and lob a few quid towards the cause. Sucks, man. I hate sounding like one of these pompous charity types who is all grandstanding their own work and whatever, and I really don't intend to. Volunteering, etc., is a huge commitment; this, however, is nothing at all. I struggle to believe that 90% of the adult population couldn't afford a fiver for this. *Shrug*. Just think it's a bit lame.
Anyway, they've raised just over 20 million so far this year, so that's great. Go them! Woo.
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OK, no more lording (though unintended, I promise :(); I want to talk about Student Finance, AKA: how to exploit people. Now, I am in my second year of university, so I have very infrequent dealings with the SLC (Student Loans Company); all I have to do is send off a cheeky little 'yeah I'm the same as last year' form, and hey presto, belatedly, my money arrives. C'est fantastique! Unfortunately, for anyone who desperately needs the money, and is in their first year, they are, and were, going to get buttfucked. After all, all they had to do was plod through a ninehundredmillion page long application form, then get their parents to do repeated DNA tests in front of a jillion witnesses to prove that they were UK residents or some bullshit, then send the form three times around the sun when it was repeatedly posted back to them for no apparent reason. You would think that even the most imbecilic student would have been capable enough to facilitate this before fin de siecle. Evidently they did, as well, so a massive congratulations to all of our impressively astute and assiduous first-year students.
Unfortunately, my commendations do not stretch as far as the company in charge of arbitrating and administering these applications for funding. No, in fact, quite the opposite; I think the 'company' in 'charge' of this procedure are an absolute fucking joke. I think they're lamentably incompetent on almost every level that a company should operate at. Let's run through the things you would expect a Student loans company to provide, and when, and I will also add in what they haven't managed:
1) All applications processed by the start of term, and funding delivered before the students start.
What really happened: All applications that were sent off in time (oh yes, deadlined) were processed, no funding was delivered by the start of term.
2) Money delivered to students at appropriate intervals.
What really happened: No money delivered to students.
3) Money given based on actual finance of guardians, not 'income'.
What really happens: Pathetically arbitrary and flippant dismissal of anyone who earns over 60k as 'loaded' and not in need of funding. No attention paid to mortgage, loans, overdrafts, other children, single incomes, distance, general finance.
What this means for students and universities: Well, it meant great good fun for everyone involved really. Many thousands of students came to university without their student loans; the tuition was paid, but no cost of living was given. The universities themselves had to step in and lend students money in order for them to be able to afford their cost of living (accommodation and food, basically). For example, University of Portsmouth has leant out over £80,000 (to a student population of around 10,000) in the first 7 weeks of term.
What happened next: Armchair commentators started harping on about how students have it too easy, and how 'cost of living' was merely a synecdoche for 'getting drunk and having sex'.
What will happen dare they ever mention this again: I will personally walk up and down the country beating these people to death with a club made of their drooling stupidity. You absolute fucking bastards. How dare you harp on about how students only want that money to get drunk? You really think we're all sitting here skint to the fucking bone, wishing we had that extra £5 to go get some cans, instead of some goddamned fucking food!?!??! Are you that bloody blind? Are you that out of touch with reality, you bumbling cretin!? Go fuck yourself.
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Sorry.
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Yes. So, the SLC really needs to sort it out, or get out. That's an absolute joke that some people have had to go without money for their first two months of university. The 'Government' needs to intervene and sort something out here, because their platform of 'encouraging teenagers to go to university' is being undermined at every single turn. I'm not naive enough to assume a promise an axiom; but I would have liked to have thought that they had at least considered what they should be doing to help encourage people to go on to further post-compulsory education. No, what they have instead done, is allowed the cost to spiral completely out of control, not keep the financing company in check, not provide any kind of job prospects as soon as people graduate, and impoverish and disenfranchise the most important generation of voters and workers. That's a resounding failure from all sides, however you want to look at it. Surely?
Don't marginalise your biggest possible voter-base by bankrupting them. That's just my advice. And people still feel the need to ask me why I'm emigrating as soon as I've finished my masters? Christ. I would have thought it was pretty self-fucking-evident.
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Eurgh. I got pretty angry today, blame the hangover, and the fact that it is dark at quarter-past three in the afternoon. *Turns light on*. Ah, that's artificially delightful. No wonder people get S.A.D. I think that's probably enough venting for today, sorry that it's been so utterly bleak of late, but I've not been in the chirpiest of moods, and it is hard to translate foreign feelings from that which you feel. The biggest curse for the obliged writer: penning that which they don't feel.
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