Poor pronunciation needed for my joke to work D:.
Working this afternoon, don't want to. Tired. Gum infection. Damn British stereotypes. I have horse mouth apparently. That's not cool. I might gum someone to death or something. I wonder how that'd go. I should write a crime novel. That'd be so good. I'd be all like "How was he killed!?", and then the generic '60's throwback man would be all like "Oh, jeez, Henry, I think he was gummed, I think he was gummed in the face, driveby gumming by a gumming automaton. Probably Fielding Gummingsworth." You'd read that. Admit it. I wonder who would publish it. Conan Doyle still alive?
I can't believe they're making that film with Guy Ritchie as the director. That's a terrible idea. Everyone will have unconvincing mockney accents, and Holmes will end up carrying an AK-47 or something stupid. Watson will have huge tits, and spend half the film washing a car, and lathering his heaving bosom for Holmes' entertainment. "Hound of the... what, people... what, where... there's something... what, oh, god, stop. Blow me." I wonder what porn parody you could do with Sherlock. Hmm. 'The valley of queer'?, or perhaps, 'His last blow'. I would watch those too.
Not sure how we got here. Pretty sure it wasn't through deductive reasoning. Sozza, Shozza.
Work.
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